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Try this. Pick up a copy of Po Bronson’s ‘What should I do with my life?‘ and go sit somewhere you can’t go unnoticed. Pretend to be extremely interested in the book. Actually, after a few minutes, you wouldn’t really be pretending, but that is beside the point.

You will soon find that passers-by can’t help trying to spy the name of the book. Make it easy for them. Hold the book out a little, making the cover more accessible to prying eyes. But don’t be too obvious about it.

Now notice the smiles. They are not appreciative smiles. They are not even kind smiles. Saying that they are condescending smiles may perhaps be pushing it, but they are definitely smiles that say, ‘Phew! I am so glad I am not holding that.’

That you make it obvious that you don’t know what to do with your life makes others like you feel better about themselves. Others who let the world hypnotise them into believing that theirs is THE life. They stop probing.

Maybe theirs is actually THE life… I wouldn’t know. Regardless, I think it is safe to assume that it is unfashionable to wonder aloud about one’s purpose in life. Purposes are things you are supposed to figure out in schools, right?

I just finished filling in a research questionnaire (don’t ask) in which I had to make a distinction between STYLE and FASHION, and if possible, show my preference for one of them. I thought about it and defined style as individual and fashion as what crowds have.

Then I instinctively chose style over fashion because I am mortally afraid of getting lost in crowds.

Crowds are unsettling, ugly and smelly. Crowds make free movement difficult. At their worst, crowds lead you in directions they are convinced lead to plenty. Problem is, plenty doesn’t remain plenty for long after the crowd gets there.

So if you feel like it, you are probably better off walking alone, preferably in another direction altogether.

Crowds are convinced that dreams and doubts are not quite ‘life’. Life is a queue that needs to be followed to the counter. Breaking queue and paying the man behind the counter (cheating) is ok, but they never lose sight of the fact that the queue is the point and the counter is the destination.

Needless to say, every crowd has some that can’t stand the smell. They feel there has to be a different way of doing things. They question the counter’s authority and shove their way out, knocking on closed windows, forming newer, better organized and more disciplined queues. Some seek out brand new ways of getting past queues (they get online?). Some leave the scene entirely, heading elsewhere (airport?).

The crowd doesn’t notice. Everyone there is looking at each other. Makes sense, doesn’t it? If and when the crowd does notice the break-aways, it only sees a loner; not his motivation, nor his methods. So it ends up attributing the loner’s position to luck — or worse — assumes the loner was never a part of the crowd. The crowders find it unlikely that a regular crowder could have turned loner and walked the legend’s path.

Well they are wrong! Close the book with a loud snap (you have to make an extra effort if its a paperback) and shove your way out. Seekers win!

Posted on Sunday, May 20th, 2007 at 2:05 am and filed under life, people, essays.

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