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Subs (sub-editors, deskfolk) are sworn servants to the style sheet. A style sheet is what dictates the eventual look of any newspaper or magazine. It contains details regarding type face, font size, column widths etc. It also specifies what way certain words are to be spelt wherever they appear. Style sheets tell you that ‘here’ is a no-no. You must always spell out the name of the place. Style sheets wouldn’t let you get away with acronyms. Style sheets, in short, screw the way a sub looks at anything he is reading.

Imagine then, if you will, the state of a sub, bleary eyed after hours of editing badly written news reports. His way of looking at the world thus altered, he turns the pages of a novel. He reads quickly. He finds an average of six typos in every page, and after some four pages, has no clue what just happened in the story.

Paranoid that he is losing it, he goes back to the start, and starts reading again, determined to make sense of it this time. ‘This ends here,’ says an impassioned character. ‘Do you understand me Rebecca? Here and now.’

Moved that he is by the fervor of the scene, he cannot, for the life of him, keep from paraphrasing in his head. ‘This ends on Wednesday. Do you hear me Rebecca? On Wednesday and in Melbourne.’ There, says the evil sub in his head, clamping his claws shut over the jaws (and therefore the voice) of sanity, that sounds better. No doubts left. Everyone will understand now.

The sub nods his head. He is satisfied. He reads on.

Posted on Tuesday, January 31st, 2006 at 3:43 pm and filed under life, personal.

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