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Batman wasn’t particularly happy about the fact that he had a desk job at the Justice League Watchtower (an orbiting space station). While Superman and the others got to go out and duke it out with asteroids and maniacal galaxy conquerors, he sat in front of the big screen and did ‘research’ (mostly googling). He resented the fact that his finer detection skills were going waste.

Something moved. In the room. Behind him! Batman ticked off the Flash in his head. It couldn’t be him. He was in the kitchen, visible in one of the screens. Besides, this was something bigger, lumbering and with nothing of the Flash’s swiftness.

He swung and let fly a couple of batarangs (those bladelike things Batman throws) in the direction of the sound even before he had turned to see what it was. A fat tentacle caught one in midair. The other disappeared before it hit anything.

“Hello Bruce!” said the intruder. The two batarangs appeared before Batman’s feet, on the floor. “It’s nice to finally meet you. Know me?”

Batman, ever the show-off, activated the magnetic field on his glove and let the batarangs fly up to his hands.

“Ganesh. Hindu god of beginnings,” he said pocketing the batarangs. “I thought you were just a myth.”

Lord Ganesh chuckled, “So says the man half of Gotham doesn’t believe exists. You might want to ask questions first and throw batarangs later. I understand you had a parental crisis and all but that’s no reason to be spiteful at everything that moves.”

“Your father beheaded you once.” Batman said. “You can live with things like that. I am only human.”

“It was my uncle Shani actually. He is the god of misfortune. So he couldn’t help it. The rumours about my dad are baseless. But let’s not talk about that,” Ganesh said looking out into space.

Batman realised it was difficult to match wits with this one. Besides, he felt really happy for some reason. He couldn’t let his guard down though. His shoulders must remainn tense. His face must remain stiff. When you are a superhero, image is everything.

“What brings you here?” he asked.

“No purpose really. Had some time on my hands and was flitting through universes. Decided to drop in. I hear you have good food up here. There is one among you, The Flash. He eats all day owing to a superfast metabolism. He is around, isn’t he? I would very much like to meet him.”

He looked around and Batman suddenly felt his eyes had that blank look Superman acquired when he was looking through walls.

“Ah! There he is. I will help myself to the food. Carry on the ‘research’ (there was a touch of divine sarcasm there),” Ganesh said and vanished.

Batman had half a mind to follow him to the kitchen. But turned to the feed from the surveillance cameras instead. The kitchen came into view on one of the screens. Wally West (The Flash with his mask down) was stuffing a burger down his throat in front of an open refrigerator. Batman winced. The scant respect Wally showed for the resources on the watchtower sometimes got on his nerves. Bruce Wayne paid for it all.

The Flash closed the refrigerator at long last and found himself staring into a rather huge, kind of fat, pudgy creature with an elephant’s head (trunk, tusks and all).

Within the next half second, Wally had fallen back on the floor, somewhat recovered from the shock, put his mask back on, and run to the other corner of the kitchen. Of course, only Lord Ganesh saw all this. To Batman in front of the monitor, it was all a blur.

“Who… what are you?” asked Wally.

“I am Trunkorr. The last of the Bogans from the planet Boga. I have come to destroy your Justice League and take over planet Earth.”

Flash whispered into his communicator, “Batman, we have a situation here.”

Batman’s voice sounded amused, “I’m afraid you will have to take care of it yourself Flash. I am really caught up here.”

Flash acquired a what-on-earth expression, recovered from it, and charged at the intruder, only to mysteriously end up where he had started from.

“I was just kidding,” said Lord Ganesh. “My name is Ganesh. I mean you no harm.”

Ganesh extended his hand. Flash found himself shaking it before he knew he was standing right in front of Lord Ganesh.

“What do you want?” Flash asked.

“I’ll have whatever you are having,” said Ganesh. “Extra cheese though. Thanks.”

Flash gave him a giant burger. Then another. Then he opened the refrigerator to him. In the meantime he kept looking around to check for more Bogans. Eventually he was convinced that this ‘Ganesh’ had no accomplices.

“How do you do that movement thing. Like when you moved towards me without looking like you were….” Flash asked.

“I am a god,” Lord Ganesh winked at him. “I move in mysterious ways.”

Ganesh tossed the last morsel into his mouth and almost shook the watchtower out of its orbit with a colossal burp. Then he disappeared.

From somewhere out there, came Superman’s voice over the communication system, “Is everything alright. We just sensed a disturbance from the tower.”

“Everything is alright,” Batman replied.

The Flash came running from the kitchen. “Ya, everything is alright. A god from Boga emptied our fridge. Everything is fine.”

Batman, The Flash are DC comics characters. Lord Ganesh is a god from Hindu mythology. This is a work of fanfiction. I do not take credit for anything other than the plot. I am just a happy fanboy.

Posted on Sunday, July 16th, 2006 at 8:01 am and filed under Myth, comics, stories.

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