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Technically, an Asur is not demonic. The word Asur actually means someone who is not Sur (civilised, pure, blah blah blah). Mythology, more often than not, equates stupidity with evil. And it always overdoes it. Not only does evil cause you to act dumb (why else would giant oafs under evil influence laugh in the face of a sword-bearing hero with divine connections), it also IS dumb.

So while the Asurs did deserve all the bashing up by Devas (gods), powerful but harmless looking sages, righteous demi-gods and patriotic kings highly favoured by the Devas, their place in the hall of shame is made sure of by one tragedy. They never listened to the one man who could save them the ignominy of all those horrid executions. I am talking about none other than Shukracharya, the one sane voice in all of Asurlok.

Shukracharya was, apart from being an expert in all things mystical, an astute politician and a great tactician. What set him apart from his dimwitted Asur brethren was perhaps the total devotion to Asurkind and a resolve to make the Asur nation the greatest of them all (sound like Ash Ketcham?). He wanted the Asurs to rule the three worlds.

His entire lifetime however, was spent trying to shake the king of Asurlok (God knows there have been a lot of them) out of marathon laughter sessions and into realising that eternal vigilance is the price of world domination.

It is in one such do-gooding exercise that he lost his left eye. And the one responsible was none other than the one responsible… for everything. Lord Vishnu.

There was an Asur king by the name of Bali who was famed for his generous ways. He had conquered all three worlds and needless to say, was not very popular in Devlok. No one had ever returned empty handed after asking him for something. So as you may very well understand, Bali was under a lot of pressure to keep his reputation. He had connections. He did his best.

Indra (ex-ruler of all gods and of Devlok) started getting worried. Bali had already overrun Devlok. He couldn’t compete with Bali on the ‘giving’ front. The first thing people would ask of him would be the Devlok beauties and that was too much to part with. So he went to the big three (Tridev, the eternal trinity of Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva) and whined for all he was worth.

Brahma smiled. Shiva quickly took their leave and retired to his home peak of Kailash. Vishnu said, “Hmmm…”

So Vishnu takes on the form of a Vaman Bhikshu (midget beggar literally but a lot more dignified in those days) and pays the Asur king a visit. It so happens that he chooses a major give-it-all-away festival for his visit.

Upon his turn, The disguised Vishnu is asked what he wants and he says that he could use some land.

He says two steps’ worth would be enough.

“Ahh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah!” Bali laughs his Asur laugh.

Vishnu smiles. If Bali had sense he would have wet his silken angavastra (what they wore under the belt then). But he merely paused for breath and laughed again. A few minutes later he realised he was being rude to a Vaman and stopped. Shukracharya goes to Bali and whispers, “It’s him you idiot. Stop this now. Don’t give him anything.”

But Bali was one of those rare honour-bound Asurs. “I can’t say no to HIM!” He threw up his hands.

“I can give you much more than that o honourable one,” he said. Ask for acres and if you would like cows and elephants, then that shall be yours too.

“Two steps worth will do fine o great giver,” said the Vaman.

Bali rolled his eyes. “So be it,” he said.

Then Vishnu, showing scant respect towards the laws of thermodynamics, started growing. He grew larger than everyone, expanding in all directions, beyond the buildings and eventually too big to even completely comprehend.

Bali looked at Shukracharya. Shukracharya looked like I-TOLD-YOU-SO. Thankfully, he didn’t wave a finger or say it in so many words.

Vishnu took his aforementioned two steps and covered pretty much all land in two worlds. Shukracharya looked miserable.

Bali was just plain awed. That is why when the Vaman returned to his midgety frame again, Bali hurriedly fetched a kamandal (A little pot-like thingie sages used back then to carry holy water. It had a nozzle.) and started the ritual, that procedure dictated, be carried out before the actual giving.

Shukracharya held him back forcefully and whispered into his ears, “So you just give him the Universe?”

“Yes, yes. It’s His anyway. It all belongs to Him!”

“No it doesn’t. Tell him he cheated. Tell him he didn’t tell us how big his feet actually were.”

“How would it matter,” Bali struggled in his Guru’s grip, “He is everything. I must do the ritual.” He broke away from the grip and picked up the kamandal.

Shukracharya, in a last ditch effort, turned himself into a tiny fly, flew into the kamandal’s nozzle and blocked it. Bali, entranced, shook the kamandal hard but no water would flow past Shukracharya.

The Vaman stepped forward, “If I may…” he said and took the kamandal from Bali. He picked up a twig from the ground and pushed it into the nozzle, taking special care to prod. The fly flew out. “Pesky insect,” said the Vaman and handed the kamandal back to Bali, smiling his smile.

Bali did the ritual and gave the Universe to the Vaman. Then the Vaman squished him under his foot, not killing him, but sending (read banishing) him to the one place Vishnu’s feet had not claimed, Patal Lok (the underworld).

Metres away a disoriented looking fly hits a tree or two and turns back into Shukracharya. The eye is all bloody and gooey. The twig had been merciless.

Afterword: Shukracharya was last seen in a Raj Comics special edition called Kaliyug keeping up the good work and mentoring yet another hopeless Asur. The eye is still missing.

Posted on Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006 at 1:05 pm and filed under mythology.

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